First off let me apologize for another pictureless post. I update from my phone and for some reason it doesn't like to upload, and when Aaron comes home on the weekends with the laptop updating my blog isn't exactly on the top of my list. We try to cram as much as possible in in the 36 hours we get to spend together each week, if we are that lucky.
Any way to the real reason for this post. Have you ever had such a horrible life like dream that you woke up and felt like the worst person for the rest of the day?? Well that happened to me on Wednesday. I don't know if any of you know that the guy I dated before I met Aaron passed away. I'm not talking just a passing he died tragically in a car crash! Granted he was at fault he had been out drinking all evening and chose to drive home. I sometimes blame myself for that accident because that morning he called me trying to reconcile something that just wasn't there. My last words to him were we are done, leave me alone, and just move on. Horrible I know and I feel even worse that I was that mean. But back to my dream. I'm sure you figured out it involved him. He was alive and screaming at me saying his death was my fault and he couldn't believe I had moved on and was married with a child. He then proceded in telling me he would make sure I paid for his death. It was at this point I woke up, it was one of those times when you still can't tell if you were still dreaming. I was frantic I spent the rest of my day reliving that horrible nightmare. Then I decided to use my 10 min texting conversation I get with Aaron daily to tell him about my dream. He was so understanding and helped me understand it wasn't my fault and I must just be stressed about something. Although I don't feel stressed. So that's where I am trying to figure out why now, why that dream, why did it seem so real.
